Holy crap, did you guys come through with replies. I think this post is the most-heavily commented post in the history of my blog, going back almost a decade.
So, I said that I’d pick a winner, which was incredibly difficult, because there were so many hilarious and clever and just plain weird contributions. Before I get to the winning one, I have an extensive list of Honorable Mentions, which come to you in no particular order; this is just how I copy and pasted them from my comment notifications:
via WWdN – have a blue blue blue blue blue blue blue smurfmas. Funniest thing I’ve read today.